If you have found your way to this blog post, the chances are that you’ve come to a crossroads in your life. You are probably a full-time professional, could be a full-time parent, and perhaps you are also a people-pleasing good girl that’s made all the right decisions in life and never (or rarely) stepped out of line. You have everything you thought you wanted, right? Yet, you’re unhappy. Something needs to change, but you just can’t seem to pull the trigger. Could some limiting beliefs be hijacking your ability to step into your happiest self?
Why are you unhappy?
Something is missing for you. Perhaps your job is unfulfilling, even though it pays well and is prestigious. Maybe the partner you chose actually isn’t the right person for you, even though everyone around you thinks they’re just dandy and can’t understand what you’re complaining about. Or it could be that you simply woke up one morning and realized that the life you’re living doesn’t suit you and something inside you is empty.
I’ve been there. I’ve been all the theres that I just listed for you, and more. In the midst of a divorce (and other important relationships that fell out because of it), the challenges of single parenthood, a full-time job that paid the bills but didn’t feed my soul, and an identity crisis that would make Existential Barbie weep, I knew something had to change. But I also knew that the change was going to be biggest, most dramatic shift of my life, and I did everything in my power to sidestep it because it just all felt like too much.
Before I learned how to trust my instincts and follow the passions I’ve had since I was a child, I tried what felt like everything. I asked my friends for advice, bought all the self-help books and journals and five-year plans, and went to therapy (which is great; everyone should be in therapy). I consulted psychics and watched tarot readings on YouTube, bought tons of tarot decks and did my own readings, and basically did anything and everything for someone to tell me what to do!
But, that was the problem.
Nobody else could tell me how to live my life.
Nobody else could tell me what would make me happiest. Even though I think most of the people I consulted (and maybe even all of them) had good intentions, they weren’t me. They weren’t waking up in my bed, experiencing life through my body, or feeling my feelings of complete confusion, depression, and fear of what was coming next.
Once I truly embraced that my journey was unique because it is a journey specifically for me, I started getting to know myself. Really getting to know myself. I questioned everything in my life and challenged myself to only do things that fit the real me, not who I thought I was supposed to be. I asked myself the hard questions in therapy (including such hard hitters as “do I hate cats?” I always thought I did. But maybe I don’t. Maybe I took that on because everyone in my family hates cats, and I never stopped to actually consider whether I do or not. Hey, no question is too small). I pulled out my birth chart, learned it inside and out, embraced my strengths and learned how to work with my weaknesses.
There was no way around the life-changing transitions I was experiencing.
I couldn’t wish them away, side-step them, or ignore them. It was time for me to accept that my life was changing, and I could either fight the tide and wear myself out in the process, or I could accept it and trust that I would be better for it in the end.
Change is scary. There’s no doubt about that. I think it’s human nature to resist and hold on to the familiar, even when the familiar is hurting us. The devil we know feels safer than the devil we don’t.
But do you want to simply survive? Or do you want to live? Do you want to thrive? Do you want to wake up with a sense of purpose, peace, and fulfillment?
Don’t ignore the red flags your soul is sending you. You’re unhappy for a reason (or a bunch of reasons). Your soul is speaking to you, and it’s time to listen! So put on your Big Girl Panties and your hard hat and get ready to let go of the limiting beliefs holding you back from embodying your Truest, Happiest Self!
I did it.
You can do it too!
Limiting Belief #1: “I’m too far into my life to change it and start over.”
This can come in a lot of flavors, and whatever version of this you’re telling yourself is not true. Here are some examples:
“I’m too old to start over.”
False, because there are countless stories of people really finding themselves later in life, so you’re never too old to start over. You only have this one life right now. Don’t you want to make the most of it? Something has happened in your life that’s brought you to my site, and you know that your life isn’t where you want it to be. When you think about the future, do you want to look back and regret not being the person you really wanted to be? Grab life by the horns and start living for you. Age is not a limit.
“I’ve already spent so much time/money/energy getting to where I am.”
And? So what? No matter how much time, money, or energy you’ve spent to become a doctor, lawyer, housewife or whatever you are, is any of that worth more than your happiness and sanity? The choices you made before may have fit you before, but they don’t fit you now. You didn’t waste your time, money, or energy to get where you are. Those choices probably served you at some point. But maybe it’s time for a new adventure.
“I’m too entangled with my job/relationship/family/situation to leave.”
Anyone who’s meant to be in your life will remain there as you grow and change. And anyone who doesn’t like the new person you’re becoming is probably meant to stay in the past. It’s much easier to set boundaries than to maintain them, I know, but you deserve to be happy. We all do! If your relationship is not making you happy, something needs to change. Maybe it’s not a drastic as a break-up or a divorce, but certainly therapy or counseling might be in order. And if break-up or divorce is the best option, give yourself time and grace to prepare and grieve the loss.
If your job isn’t making you happy, might be time to look for another one. Or start that side hustle you’ve been thinking about for years. You’re never so entangled that you can’t leave. It might be messy. In fact, it probably will be. Many times, things have to fall apart before they fall into the place.
You don’t have to do anything now. (Or ever). But when you’re ready, try reaching out for help. Here are a couple of resources available:
- Check out this post about how astrology can help you navigate your life.
- Book a free 30-minute coaching session with me here.
Limiting Belief #2 – “I made promises, so I have to keep them.”
Promises are important. They are the bases upon which we build and earn trust in relationships, at work, and even with things like financial institutions and credit card companies, where we build credit by promising to pay money back and then keeping that promise.
The question to ask about promises, though: are you prioritizing your promises to others over the promises you make to yourself?
No matter how old you are or what phase of life you’re in, you should be your number one priority. Not in a narcissistic way where you trample over the feelings and needs of others. But in a healthy way in which you put yourself first without guilt or shame.
So, in that light, consider the promises you’re keeping to other people.
Did you promise your family you’d always stay close, and if so, is that holding you back from a promotion you really want that would take you out of the state or the country? Did you promise to have and to hold til death did you part when you were 25, and now you’re 50 and can’t stand your spouse? How is that promise serving you? You’re not the same person you were 25 years ago. You’re not the same person you were 25 months ago. And you’re probably not even the same person you were 25 days ago.
Be honest and graceful with yourself. You know what’s not working in your life, and there’s a high probability you haven’t made a change because you don’t want to break your word to someone else.
Here are some things to consider about the promises you’ve made and whether or not you can keep them:
- Is keeping this promise adding to or subtracting from your mental health?
- Is this a promise you made when your life was very different? For instance, did you make this promise before you had kids, or got sick, or decided to make a career change? Evaluate your promises in the clear light of today, not yesterday, and not tomorrow.
- Is this promise benefitting other people, while actively harming you?
You’re the only one who knows the answers to these questions, and I hope you will challenge yourself to be honest and only make decisions from that place of loving truthfulness.
Limiting Belief #3: “People will think I’m crazy.”
Are you thinking about leaving your high-powered, high-paying, prestigious job to teach yoga or do astrology or sell crystals? Considering selling all your belongings and moving into a house boat? Are you not doing what your soul is calling you to do because you’re sure people will think you’ve gone crazy?
Let me put your mind at ease.
People will absolutely think you’ve gone crazy.
And who cares? I know that is so easy to say and may even come across as flippant. We all, to a certain extent, care what other people think of us. But guess what? Those people aren’t living your life. They can’t tell you what makes you happy or fulfilled. If you wake up every day dreading your job or hating your spouse or wishing you lived in your dream city, no amount of other people’s opinions will make you any happier than you are now!
It’s time to adopt the mindset of “who gives a damn what other people think?” Truly. Make this a priority. You can start with something small, like wearing what you like instead of what you think other people would like. Or eating what agrees with your body instead of listening to strangers whose bodies operate differently than yours. And you can start practicing how you respond to people who inevitably ask, “why are you doing that?”
Here are some suggested responses:
- “Because I want to.”
- “None of your business.”
- “I’ve lost my mind and found my soul.”
- “Huh?” (and ask this over and over until they give up).
It’s your life! Live it for you!
Limiting Belief #4: “I don’t have time to do all this spiritual/emotional work.”
Yes, you do.
You can do this!
It’s time to break up with your limiting beliefs. If you find yourself procrastinating on this, be gentle and give yourself time, but don’t be afraid to confront those beliefs again and again until you can recognize your fears and face them anyway.
We all have fears. It’s how we respond to them that counts.
If you are interested in working with me, you can reach out to me and schedule a free 30-minute mini reading. You don’t have to do anything but bring your open mind and heart.
Let’s do this!
Jam
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